New Coast Guard Ruling on Boards Over 12ft.
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Dateline: Washington DC - Tel 1800 NOPE911
Contact: US Notification, Organization and Enforcement Procedure (USNOPE)
The crew from Trailhead in Ontario is already adopting some of the policies across the border.
SACRAMENTO, California – In an unexpected ruling from US NOPE, the Coast Guard has put the Stand Up Paddle and Board Manufacturers Organization (SAMBO) on notice that all boards over 12.6 feet will be required to have onboard alternative power.
“We were in attendance at the recent Santa Cruz SUP Race and noticed that a large portion of the Stand Up Paddle fleet was unable to complete the course,” noted Franny English from NOPE. “Several of the competitors drifted into the nearby shipping channel, nearly causing a collision with an oil tanker destined for Texas. After consultation with some high sources in Santa Cruz we were forced to this decision. Commencing April 1, all of these large crafts will be required to have alternative non human power sources on board.“
On beach interviews regarding the new policy were met with widely divergent views. Mad Dog Skinner, a local west side surfer, said, “man it makes sense to me. Those guys suck; whatever it takes to get those tankers out of the line up is worth it.” On the other hand Pauline Ecogaard from the SUPers alliance said, “this is a great opportunity for solar power. Like, its been on the eastern horizon too long. This will greatly lower the carbon footprint among SUPers. “ Fred Mercury from the Outboard Motor Manufacturers Association was clear: “this makes complete sense. I am glad those bozos in Washington can get one thing right. Every SUP board should have a outboard motor, of course.”
Miss English from NOPE “ I know this is a big deal, but NOPE is here to do what is sensible, after all, we are from your government. But if you want to take exception to this policy you can go to our web site: www.nopeitsajokeapr1.com”
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Staff
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